More Chicago Solutions

One of my friends called over the weekend, with a typical Chicago story of repairs being made to a 120-year-old house in a hot neighborhood with roving developers. Ah, yes, Chicago. A developer with political connections who thinks he can force an owner to sell by using the Building Department for purposes of harassment. My first advice was, “Act stupid when the inspector comes, and then ask an innocuous question about what you have to do to straighten this out. If the guy says, ‘Are you trying to bribe me?’ then you know you’re going to have to fly straight. If, on the other hand, he smiles, you probably have a chance to get rid of him for a few bucks.” Story to be continued . . .

I was on the board which started the Chicago Mennonite Learning Center. We tussled for hours and hours, trying to figure out how to start an elementary school and whether the Lawndale church would be an appropriate site. Finally, in desperation, I called Marva Collins, who had started a school in her home which evolved into one of Chicago’s most prestigious private schools. Told Marva what was going on and she said, “Honey, have you done what you can to make the building safe? Then, just open the school and go for it. Let them tell you what’s wrong and when the inspector comes out, I’m sure a few bucks will take care of him.” And that’s what we did, though I’m sure all the other board members will disavow it! CMLC just celebrated its 25th anniversary and has a long waiting list of potential students.

My friend came home to find a storm had toppled a tree in her front yard and happened to spy a city truck with all the necessary tree-removal equipment. She flagged it down and asked if they could take care of the tree for her. "Nope. It's totally in your front yard, with none of it at all on city property. Sorry, lady. Unless you can drag it into the street, gotta get a private tree removal company." “Wait,” she yelled. “I just got paid today. I’ve got $50 cash. How about that?” Screeching u-turn in the street, two guys jump out of the truck with chain saws and in 10 minutes, the tree was chopped and chipped, they had their $50 and everyone was happy!

Grocery store owner kept being hassled by a City inspector, resulting in numerous trips downtown for hearings and hundreds of dollars in fines. Finally, he had had enough. When the inspector showed up again, he asked her to come in the back room where he asked what she needed to end the visits. “$50,” she replied. He ran to the cash register, got the money and never saw her again. As he said to my husband, “God damn $50, can you believe it? She went away for $50!”

Only in the City that Works!