24 Hours

Well, it’s been interesting. Last evening, Cliff and I were on the local news to discuss TSA’s inexplicable test procedure – we both took the initial test about six months ago and failed. He was a Chicago copper and me a legal secretary for more than 30 years, we both have college degrees and stellar work records, but we’re not qualified to screen luggage? And all TSA will say is, “You failed;” no explanation, no offer of what or why, just “You failed.” Hmmmmmm. Me thinks they had some kind of a liberal detector in that 600-question test. Or could it be that a 3-hour test took me only 45 minutes to complete? Not really brain surgery, okay? But, hey, we're local TV stars and everyone thought we were hilarious!

Then, today. Real estate tax estimate came. Taxes on our empty lot have doubled to more than $7000. Anyone interested in buying a lot in Cape Coral? Thank God for the homeowner’s exemption which keeps the taxes on our house fairly stable. Cliff is talking about moving out of the country.

Had to find a vice president at LaSalle Bank for Bill – the operator at the bank only had access to “in-bank extensions,” but she could transfer me, she said. I was transferred to some voice mail with no message, just one of those electronic voices that suddenly chided me for “not speaking loudly enough.” Well, hello, I didn’t even know I was supposed to be speaking! Called back and in my best condescending secretarial voice spelled out in great detail what I needed and ended up with the woman’s cell phone number, office number, secretary’s name and secretary’s number. This is what happens when there are only two banks in the entire country, okay?

The pool guy sent a check out for me (three weeks late) even though our agreement was that he would clean my pool and give me a little cash to do his billing. It’s getting to the point where the aggravation is outweighing the benefits . . . but I’ll just play the trick that worked so well with lawyers. When they didn’t act right, I just stopped working until they straightened out. Worked every time.

Then there's the ongoing problem with an e-bay seller from whom I supposedly purchased a textbook for Cliff; she took my money, then I got an e-mail saying it was being sent, and then another one saying she “changed her mind.” I e-mailed her asking what the hell was going on and haven’t heard boo. However, I found another seller who lives right here in Cape Coral and we’re hooking up tomorrow. I’ll go after Seller No. 1 once I have the book in hand.

Finally, at about 4:30 the neighbor’s daughter came running over with her dog, crying that her younger brother and sister (8-year-old twins) had taken the dog for a walk and brought her back with a broken leg, and who’s my vet? She was so distraught I ended up taking her and the dog to the vet where we discovered the leg was, in fact, broken . . . dog had to be sedated so they could set it and we came home with a dog and a cast and a bunch of pills.

All I can say is, “Thank God for kind doctors and Valium," okay? It was that kind of day.