C.S.I.*
Went out for a burger this evening. When accosted by the Greeter “I,” we asked if we could just buy hamburgers. “Oh, sure,” said the Greeter “I,” “but they come with fries and a drink.” Hmmm. So, I guess we can’t just order a hamburger? “Sure you can, but it comes with fries and a drink.” Okay. We give up. Order/Money Taking “I” informs us that we must fill out our own order form and that we must circle the condiments we would like – and, "no, no, you can't just cross out the two you don’t want!" We did get the hamburger – you know, just the hamburger, with the free fries and drink.
Wal-Mart, the store I love to hate recently did its every seven-year “let’s move everything around and confuse all our customers so they walk around all fahoodled, buying shit they don’t need.” So now I know where nothing is. Asked the “I” Wal-Mart person where the pool supplies were – “Right next to the bicycles.” Frickin’ bikes were hanging from the ceiling. I had to leave.
Weeklong experience with “I” nurses who appeared to have gotten their RN’s in six weeks via some on-line course. Blood pressure’s perfect, but we’re ordering a 24-hour monitor to check “nocturnal pressures,” which any dimwit knows are lower than your perfect daytime readings. “Ummm, I’ve got three syringes here, but nary a clue what’s in them – just doing what I’m told.” Oh, and the IV from hell that took 30 minutes, 6 tries, 4 nurses and the “best” person from the lab to insert – it has to come out, even though it’s working fine, because “GI wants to use their own.” The Witch Wife went bat shit at that point.
And, did anyone actually bother to read the MoveOn ad? All we did was tell the truth. The general wants to keep his job – instead of telling us what’s really going on, as he promised, he simply said what he was told to say by the “I” in Charge. Did you know, for instance, that if you’re shot in the front of the head you don’t count as dead? Or if you die in a car bombing, you don’t count either? That’s how we lower the death toll in Iraq. What insanely creative "I" came up with that?
Just had a primary election in Cape Coral – 21 people running for five spots in one of the most important elections for city council in years. Fourteen percent of the registered voters made those decisions for 100 percent of Cape Coral’s residents. “I” Non-voters.
*C.S.I.? “Can’t stand idiots” – a wonderful slogan on a t-shirt I saw yesterday.
Wal-Mart, the store I love to hate recently did its every seven-year “let’s move everything around and confuse all our customers so they walk around all fahoodled, buying shit they don’t need.” So now I know where nothing is. Asked the “I” Wal-Mart person where the pool supplies were – “Right next to the bicycles.” Frickin’ bikes were hanging from the ceiling. I had to leave.
Weeklong experience with “I” nurses who appeared to have gotten their RN’s in six weeks via some on-line course. Blood pressure’s perfect, but we’re ordering a 24-hour monitor to check “nocturnal pressures,” which any dimwit knows are lower than your perfect daytime readings. “Ummm, I’ve got three syringes here, but nary a clue what’s in them – just doing what I’m told.” Oh, and the IV from hell that took 30 minutes, 6 tries, 4 nurses and the “best” person from the lab to insert – it has to come out, even though it’s working fine, because “GI wants to use their own.” The Witch Wife went bat shit at that point.
And, did anyone actually bother to read the MoveOn ad? All we did was tell the truth. The general wants to keep his job – instead of telling us what’s really going on, as he promised, he simply said what he was told to say by the “I” in Charge. Did you know, for instance, that if you’re shot in the front of the head you don’t count as dead? Or if you die in a car bombing, you don’t count either? That’s how we lower the death toll in Iraq. What insanely creative "I" came up with that?
Just had a primary election in Cape Coral – 21 people running for five spots in one of the most important elections for city council in years. Fourteen percent of the registered voters made those decisions for 100 percent of Cape Coral’s residents. “I” Non-voters.
*C.S.I.? “Can’t stand idiots” – a wonderful slogan on a t-shirt I saw yesterday.
posted by Debra Hope @ 7:55 PM
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