Old Secretary: Jus' the Facts, Ma'am
I am a true believer in total and brutal honesty. I was raised in a family where honesty and forthrightness were treasured and encouraged and my Dad always said, “Just tell the truth. You may not be the most popular person, but when you tell the truth, two things will happen. First, when people want to know the truth, they will come to you, and, second, you can always look at yourself in the mirror.” I have been accused at times of being too honest, but I am unwavering in my belief that honesty is always the best policy. On those occasions when things are not going the best with a boss or co-worker, I have found that an early and honest conversation about the problem can clear the air and make it possible to get back on the right track. Get the problem out in the open, apologize when necessary and get back to work. Even though few people are willing to step into the truth-telling arena, I have had wonderful, memorable experiences when the truth was aired.
An associate once asked me to make suggestions for changes to a document he was preparing and then after I spent a good little while doing what he asked, used nary a one of my ideas. I was insulted and took his slights personally. He came to my desk and said, “I think we’ve got a problem. Can we talk about it?” In the privacy of his office, I explained how hurt I was that he had asked me to help and then rejected all of my suggestions. He, in turn, explained that even though he thought I had made good suggestions, the original document had been drafted by the client and he wanted to make sure he wasn’t insulting in his revisions. I had to admit he had a point. Because of David’s willingness to talk honestly, both of us were able to explain our motives and feelings, a situation which could have gotten ugly was contained, our conversation opened up new avenues of communication and we worked happily together until he left the firm.
Of course, for every one of him, there are dozens who would never lower themselves to have an honest conversation with a subordinate. I’ll never forget the time I got off on the wrong foot with an associate, partly because of factors beyond my control and partly due to my own shortcomings. After a few disagreeable incidents, I went to his office and asked if we could talk. I apologized for my part in the unpleasantness and then suggested that we try to forget what had happened, start over and give the relationship another shot. He looked at me and said, “I don’t really think you’re capable of that.” We didn’t work together much longer.
I was recently on the receiving end of a co-worker’s wrath because of an error I made on a report which I had prepared for him. I apologized immediately, re-did the offending report, reminded him that we were friends and even offered to get him some Mrs. Fields’ cookies in an effort to make up, but nothing seemed to work. I treaded lightly for a couple of days and made a point of avoiding him. A few days later, we ran smack into each other at the elevator. Rodney grabbed me and hugged me and whispered in my ear, “Can you ever forgive me? I was just horrible to you.” There was no question. He was honest. How could I not forgive him? We’re back on track, an unpleasant situation was defused and a friendship was repaired.
Also related to the concept of honesty is the old, familiar “crying wolf” syndrome. Since I work for three people, it is critical that everyone is truthful about assignments and deadlines. However, there’s always the one who believes that fudging the truth about deadlines will get her work done on a priority basis and, on the opposite end, the one who always waits until the very last second, springs a surprise deadline on me and expects me to drop everyone else’s work because his absolutely, positively has to be done before 5:00. Both are dishonest, in their own way, and make my job more difficult and stressful. Jus’ the facts, ma’am. Just let me know what has to be done today, what can be done tomorrow, what’s priority, what can wait, and then allow me the freedom to work your demands into my other assignments for the day. Another old secretary trick: When everyone’s work has to be done at the same time, I simply stop working and say, “Talk to each other. When you’ve figured out how I should do this, I’ll go back to work.” It has never failed.
An associate once asked me to make suggestions for changes to a document he was preparing and then after I spent a good little while doing what he asked, used nary a one of my ideas. I was insulted and took his slights personally. He came to my desk and said, “I think we’ve got a problem. Can we talk about it?” In the privacy of his office, I explained how hurt I was that he had asked me to help and then rejected all of my suggestions. He, in turn, explained that even though he thought I had made good suggestions, the original document had been drafted by the client and he wanted to make sure he wasn’t insulting in his revisions. I had to admit he had a point. Because of David’s willingness to talk honestly, both of us were able to explain our motives and feelings, a situation which could have gotten ugly was contained, our conversation opened up new avenues of communication and we worked happily together until he left the firm.
Of course, for every one of him, there are dozens who would never lower themselves to have an honest conversation with a subordinate. I’ll never forget the time I got off on the wrong foot with an associate, partly because of factors beyond my control and partly due to my own shortcomings. After a few disagreeable incidents, I went to his office and asked if we could talk. I apologized for my part in the unpleasantness and then suggested that we try to forget what had happened, start over and give the relationship another shot. He looked at me and said, “I don’t really think you’re capable of that.” We didn’t work together much longer.
I was recently on the receiving end of a co-worker’s wrath because of an error I made on a report which I had prepared for him. I apologized immediately, re-did the offending report, reminded him that we were friends and even offered to get him some Mrs. Fields’ cookies in an effort to make up, but nothing seemed to work. I treaded lightly for a couple of days and made a point of avoiding him. A few days later, we ran smack into each other at the elevator. Rodney grabbed me and hugged me and whispered in my ear, “Can you ever forgive me? I was just horrible to you.” There was no question. He was honest. How could I not forgive him? We’re back on track, an unpleasant situation was defused and a friendship was repaired.
Also related to the concept of honesty is the old, familiar “crying wolf” syndrome. Since I work for three people, it is critical that everyone is truthful about assignments and deadlines. However, there’s always the one who believes that fudging the truth about deadlines will get her work done on a priority basis and, on the opposite end, the one who always waits until the very last second, springs a surprise deadline on me and expects me to drop everyone else’s work because his absolutely, positively has to be done before 5:00. Both are dishonest, in their own way, and make my job more difficult and stressful. Jus’ the facts, ma’am. Just let me know what has to be done today, what can be done tomorrow, what’s priority, what can wait, and then allow me the freedom to work your demands into my other assignments for the day. Another old secretary trick: When everyone’s work has to be done at the same time, I simply stop working and say, “Talk to each other. When you’ve figured out how I should do this, I’ll go back to work.” It has never failed.
posted by Debra Hope @ 6:31 PM
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